Things haven't been going so well. For the last 3 weeks, I've only made it to the gym once or twice per week for various reasons, which has really set me back. My weight has been fluctuating a lot, and it's been frustrating. I wish that I had some real progress to report, but I don't.
I've been getting really down on myself, because last year I gave myself a goal to lose 30 lbs before I turn 30 (in August), but instead, I somehow managed to gain 20 lbs. And now I'm only about 6 weeks away from my birthday, and I have 50 pounds to lose instead. :( Another thing is that my dh and I are thinking about having another baby. I've been ready (emotionally) for quite a long time to have another one, but with my weight issues, I am sooo not ready physically. As it is, I'm only about 8 pounds away from my heaviest pregnancy weight, and that's not where I want to start AT ALL. I hate the idea of post-poning pregnancy any more than we already have, but on the other hand, I hate the idea of getting pregnant now at this weight.
It's so weird to me because some days I'll have this huge resolve to do better and eat better and have a positive attitude, and it will last a day or two or three, but then somehow it fizzles away. I don't know why my emotions fluctuate so much. I know what I have to do, I know how to do it, I know why I should and why I want to do it... So why is it still so hard?
On the plus side, last night I did get to go to the gym, and I did about an hour and 20 minutes of cardio, and another 20 min or so on the weight machines.
This next week we have a friend coming into town and staying with us, so I don't know if I'll get to go to the gym very much. She's a vegan, though, so I'm hoping she'll teach me how to cook some new, healthier meals! :) We'll see how things go.
2 comments:
I love the quotation you have at the top of the page. I'm so sorry you are struggling with your goal. It's a very good goal and it's so hard when our righteous desires aren't easy to attain. The biggest change to make in weight loss is personal accountability. It's the only way I lost weight before and it's the only reason it's working again for me. I have to be accountable to myself for every calorie I eat and every calorie I lose. SparkPeople has worked for me. Whether you have another child now or wait, that's really hard. Waiting might be good because you would have a lot more to lose later, but you're also young and your body might be able to handle it. Only the Lord knows!!!
I'll be praying for you :) I know, first hand, how hard it can be to lose weight. Hang in there, and good luck!
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