Motivation?? Are you here?

I'm still having trouble finding motivation. I have set goals. I have my motivation poster. I have ideals in mind. There are things I really want to work toward, but I'm having a really hard time changing habits. I really, really want to change. Why is it so hard?

that's all I got for now.....

A non-update

I should not have started my diet on the day that my in-laws arrived, because I was not able to stick to it at all! eek.

They have returned to Taiwan now, therefore I declare tomorrow, Tuesday January 19 the official start of my diet. I am hoping to stick to the plan listed before as much as possible, and find time for exercise at least 4 times a week.

Ready, set, GO!

baby steps, baby steps

I don't know why it's so hard for me to break out of old habits, but I'm trying.

Day 2 started off great, but by the evening I had snacked on some not-so-great things, and overate at dinner. blech.

Day 3 (today) also started off great, but when I got stressed out about something, I found myself going into the kitchen to get a handful of chocolate chips. eek. I'm hoping I can turn it around tonight, but it's been a bit tricky w/ my in-laws in town. They've been preparing dinner every night, or we've been going to eat with the relatives, which means lots and lots and lots of food. Tonight we're having dinner at Sam's uncle's house again, so I know there will be tons of yummy food. I'm just going to do my best and really try to not over eat.

Still need to get a scale. Still need to pick up "French Women Don't Get Fat." Still need to look into getting a gym membership or something.

Who has ideas for yummy, healthy foods to bring to a baby shower?!?!?!?

Day 1 report

Well, I figure if this is going to work, I really have to keep myself accountable. So here goes.

Day 1 actually went fairly well. I had 2 bananas and a grapefruit for breakfast. Zoe and I went out walking for an hour on this trail near our home. It's paved, but there are some big hills, and pushing Zoe in the stroller up those hills sure got my heart pumping!

For lunch I ate veggie sticks (red bell pepper and carrot) with hummus, and for a snack later on I had an apple with a little peanut butter. I'm pretty sure the PB is on the "do not eat" list, but oh well. I also had a handful of almonds.

Dinner was a bit trickier because my in-laws are in town, and wanted to cook dinner for us. I'm not going to say no to that! But it also meant that I didn't really have control over what they made. I tried to go heavy on the veggies, but had a little bit of fish and this and that so I wouldn't appear rude. (I didn't tell them I started my diet that day.) They also bought chocolate and chips and ice cream etc, so I'm going to have my work cut out for me to be resisting all that.

For dessert I had some watermelon and a little mango. Thankfully by then it was time to get the kids ready for bed (it was a laaate dinner), and so they didn't get the ice cream out.

Day 2 is off to a good start. I had 1.5 bananas, (1 was my own, and the .5 was the rest of Zoe's that she didn't eat), and a big Asian pear. Mmmm. I love those pears. I don't know if I'll have time to exercise today because we have a lot going on, but I'll do my best to stay on track. My in-laws were talking about going out to eat tonight, so again, I don't know how well I'm going to be able to stay on plan. I'll do my best. Baby steps.

I can do this!

Oh, and P.S. our scale has been broken for awhile, so today hopefully I'll find time to run out and get a new one. Then my "ticker" up above can be more accurate.

I figured it out...

Awhile back I was reading a book called "Eat to Live" by Dr. Joel Fuhrman. I started following the diet that he outlined in his book, and I started to see some progress. So I am going back to that starting tomorrow morning. Another read through of his book wouldn't hurt, either.

Also, a long time ago, my friend Cailean suggested the book "French Women Don't Get Fat". I've just checked my library and they have it on shelf, so I'll be making a trip there sometime this week to get that as well.

Dr. Fuhrman's plan is a six week plan to lose weight. After the six weeks, he has a modified plan and tells you how to adjust it for your purposes, whether is continued weight loss or maintenance). The very basic breakdown of the plan is this:

Breakfast: fresh fruit
Lunch: salad, beans, more fruit
Dinner: salad, two cooked vegetables, fruit dessert

And these are the basic guidelines:

Unlimited (eat as much as you want)
all raw vegetables, including raw carrots (goal: 1lb daily)
cooked green vegetables (goal 1 lb daily)
beans, legumes, bean sprouts, and tofu (1 cup daily)
fresh fruit (at least 4 daily)
eggplant, mushrooms, peppers, onions, tomatoes

Limited (not more than 1 serving - 1 cup - per day
cooked starchy vegetables or whole grains (butternut or acorn squash, corn, potatoes, rice, cooked carrots, sweet potatoes, breads, cereals)
raw nuts and seeds (1 oz. max per day)
avocado (2 oz. max per day)
ground flaxseed (1 TBSP per day)

Off-Limits
dairy products
animal products
between-meal snacks
fruit juice, dried fruit

Doing the walk of shame

It's time to get back on the saddle... again!

It's been almost exactly six months since I last posted on this blog. I was too ashamed and embarrassed to come back. I haven't been eating well, and I've barely been exercising. And it shows. I've put on a lot of weight over the last six months, and I am not happy. I don't have many clothes that fit me anymore, and I really, really don't want to go buy more in bigger sizes. :( For those of you who really know me, you know this is something I have struggled with for a long, long time.

I've made a goal for myself, and it's a perfectly reasonable goal.

I want to lose 30 lbs before I turn 30. My birthday in in mid-August, 8 months away. 30 lbs won't put me at my ideal weight, but it will get me a whole heck of a lot closer than I am now.

I've made myself an inspiration page that I taped to my closet door. Unfortunately I deleted all the photos from my computer after I printed the page, and I'm having trouble finding the exact ones online again, so these will have to do. You'll get the point. :)

The first is someone with severe lower back pain, and next to it is someone doing cartwheels on the beach.




VS.











These images are important to me because it's telling me to choose. Do I want to suffer from this lower back pain my whole life? Or do I want to feel fit and alive, and be able to do active things?

The next picture is 5 lbs of fat vs. 5 lbs of muscle. I don't think I need to expound on that any further.


The next few pictures are things that I want to look forward to in the near future:

Being pregnant (at a healthy weight)


Having a relaxing vacation on the beach (where I am not embarrassed to wear a bathing suit)


And Running (without getting winded in the first 2 minutes)


The last thing is a big '30'. I'm turning 30 years old this summer. 30 lbs by the time I turn 30 years old. I feel so young, but my body is starting to feel so old because I'm not taking good care of it. When I turn 30, I want to feel like I can do anything. I don't want to feel crippled and weak.

I haven't quite figured out, yet, how I'm going to tackle this. I know I need to take things one day at a time. I need to get into a regular exercise routine, and I need to make better food choices. Nobody can do it for me, so I better get going myself.